Submarines should have been made by software companies

You know many years ago when I was working for what I would consider to be the best small company in the world, I was 'bashed' by a client down South in Pasir Gudang. This was circa 1995.

He was adamant on giving me a piece of his mind on the software that I was peddling to him.

"You know, I don't understand on how you software company can get away with this. It's like someone getting away with murder. I mean your software has so many bugs and you guys tried to deceive your clients by coming up with workarounds. Just imagine if Toyota or Honda were to sell their cars and they were to tell the consumer that 'by the way, you can't make a right turn as the steering wheel can only make a left'."

"Or you were trying to tell them that the car could not brake."

"Do you think you would have sold a single car?"

This Mat Salleh manager working at this American company was not mincing his words. I have no choice but to listen to his blabbering, and at the same time stay polite and continue smiling. In this line of work, we have to stay cool, calm and calculated. Basically that day, I got kicked out literally from that company and lost the contract.

He and his twisted logic, and with a mind that would see the dark side of everything.

I think you have heard similar jokes about how our world would be different if cars were made by software companies. I guess I would not have to repeat here and insult myself in the process! ;-)

But with the spate of recall of Toyota and Honda cars recently, one would wonder if cars should have been made by software companies like ours.

Then again, how would you explain about the submarine which cannot dive.

Would you buy a car which cannot drive? Just for show in the garage or porch? I think I remember a story when I was a kid of a Mat Salleh who brought a car to Tanah Melayu when there was no road - or at least the road as we knew them today. Every morning he would be in the driver's seat and pretended to be driving.

He must be imagining driving on the streets of London, I guess.

In his case, his car would drive. But there was no road for him to drive on.

If however your submarine was made by a software company and it cannot dive, you should just pressed the reset button.

Or better still just do a Control-Alt-Delete.

After doing that, I am sure the kapal selam can selam one, I promise you.