Today, I was reminded by a bro early this morning, is the 25th anniversary of bapak's passing away.
Not that there is anything to celebrate to be honest, but I would take this opportunity to do some reflection on ourselves.
In general, I am pleased with ourselves; on what we had achieved - if only in education and nothing else, since that day in August 1984 when our world nearly came crumbling down. But we persevered with Mak becoming our anchor point.
I do hope that will be the case in the future. Honestly, we need to seriously reflect in our inner-selves and do soul searching for the future. Especially me.
Last night 25 years ago, he would not pay RM3 for his cab to take him from Taiping station to his home in Sri Kota, say 5km away. Or more likely that he could not afford to pay his cab, and hence would rather walk.
Today at noon, 25 years ago, he was struggling with his life at Taiping Hospital, while his student son thousand of miles away was watching the marathon an Australian favourite Rob de Castella was supposed to win (but lost). Today 25 years ago, he left us all without saying good bye and to make it worse for me, I last saw him in February 84 during the summer holiday.
Tonight 25 years ago, I got a call I dreaded the most from his bro Pak Lang in Sydney. A call you would not want to re-live.
Tomorrow 25 years ago, I got on that plane that took me back to KL (and eventually Taiping), practically sponsored by fellow student friends at Monash, but by then obviously it was too late even to pay my last respect.
Yang ada menyambut kedatangan ini hanyalah dua nisan kayu - kaku dan tanpa suara.
Today, all I could do was reminisce and talk about it, and nothing else. Pathetic me.
Alfatihah for bapak.
EPILOGUE
The last of his daughter, who was 8 month old when he passed away, will now get engaged in a small ceremony this Sunday at Hussein Onn. Congratulations to Aishah. As a big brother, I wish you well.
Al Fathihah for our Father and Congrats for Aishah
ReplyDelete25years ago, he just arrived from KL
ReplyDelete(the aim of his last journey was;to meet and ask forgiveness from all his brothers and sisters; and he succeed; as if he knows his time).
He woke up that morning and as usual he prepares for Subuh prayer, suddenly he collapsed....that Subuh.
the ambulance came, and it was announced that afternoon, that he was gone
His tabligh group from Masjid Hanafi take the honor preparing him
I was 12 at that point, and I don't understand the meaning of death or being apart. I don't even cried, until everything was over and someone pat on me and said..'be brave'...and my eyes cannot hold it anymore..
that is my view and experience.
Thank you for giving your perspective. At least I got teary eyes reading it. I dont really know how you guys coped then, to be honest. I am sure it was a worst experience than mine, being adult and what not.
ReplyDeleteWould love to hear from others of how they see it that day twenty five years ago.
Petang si stesen keretapi taiping, bapak keep on reminding me, ambik bapak esok lepas maghrib, n jaga emak kau, byk mak kau berkorban utk bapak. jaga adik2.
ReplyDeleteBerkali kali dia remind benda yang sama. Sebagai remaja, hati i berkata, alah rilex la bapak, bapak ke KL sekejap aje.
Bila i lewat fetch dia maghrib tu, i bawa pelahan opel bapak, cari disepanjang jalan dr stesen ke Sri Kota, tp tak nampak kelibat dia.
Sampai rumah, dia dah duduk di kerusi panjang bersama Aishah yang 8 bulan tu, Zali yang gemuk comel tu. Dia renung i yg baru masuk rumah, i buat2 kesal dpn dia dgn bertanya bapak balik naik apa?
Dia jawab bersahaja tp pada i tegas, ' kan bapak dah pesan semalam ambik bapak lepas maghrib'
Mum tegur i didapur , dia kata bapak jalan kaki balik rumah.
I berkurung dalam bilik semalaman, kununnya merajuk dgn bapak.
Subuh time azan, i dengar bising dibawah dgn suara mum, dia jerit nama i, i dah sedar tapi mamun, terus terpa, katanya bapak kamu pengsan, cepat panggil abang2 bujang disebelah. I pun terpa bilik bapak, memang dia setengah nyawa, masih bernafas tapi berkeruh kesakitan .
Terus minta abang2 sebelah tolong tapi, tak berani sebab badan bapak agak besar untuk dibawa masuk ke kereta, rasanya i atau adik2 call ambulan.
I ambik emergency hari tu, talipon arwah Pak Long, Makcak, K Sham, beritahu yang bapak nazak. I rasa semua kelamkabut masa tu, rasanya ada buat direct call ke Pak Lang di Australia guna talian pejabat i.
Masa tunggu di hosptital dalam bilik ICU, emak dibenarkan baca surah Yassin ditepi bapak. Doktor India tu yg suruh, sebab gaya dia mcm dah tahu tak ada harapan. And emak terus bisikkan Yassin ditelinga bapak, sambil ajar bapak mengucap. Memang bapak masih berdengus kuat, and ada response bila emak atau i, usik ibu jari dia tanda dia masih tersa geli bila disentuh. Walaupun dia tak bersuara, setiap kali mum ajar dia mengucap, ada gaya2 dia ikut apa yang emak sebutkan. I perhatikan aje disudut katil.
I tak ingat samaada i ada di sisi bapak masa dia pergi, tapi dlm jam 12 tengaharilah agaknya.
Terharu and bersalah masa tu bila tengok muka2 adik2 esp Ata, Ashi, Fadhil, FarahZali and Aishah. Mereka masih di sekolah rendah masa tu and muka bersih habis, tak tahu apa..............
Maafkan i....sambil tulis ni, i menangis mengenangkan dosa dan silap i pada bapak, emak dan adik2
Bukan Senang jadi anak yang tua dalam keluarga masa tu........
Maafkan i lagi...walaupun 25 tahun sudah berlalu
One thing I do remember;
ReplyDeletewhen the body was placed in the hall of the house, I saw his face was smiling at all the time. :)
As I grown up,I understand a bit of signature of death, and where they may belong.
Al Fathihah
Thanks Aboy (and Rashi) for giving a more complete pictures of what transpired 25 years ago. There are some facts that I didn't know, and of course I knew many others. But I thought it is wonderful for the both of you to have put pen to paper and now I have a different perspective of things 25 years ago.
ReplyDeleteI do hope a few others would chip in too.
To me, no apology is required, if at least from my side. I brought up the story as part of the theme of the blog, and for us to be able to sedeqah al-fatihah to his soul.
Tambahan kepada komen Rashi,
ReplyDeleteSetiap kali kepala arwah bapak di
adjust supaya betul betul seimbang dgn badan, setiap kali jugak akan mengiring kesebelah kanan dan terus tersenyum.....